What is verbal abuse?
Verbal abuse means using negative words and language that cause harm.
It may take the form of blaming, insulting, belittling, intimidating, demeaning, disrespecting, scolding, frightening, ridiculing, criticising, name-calling or threatening a child.
It’s not just about shouting and screaming. Verbal abuse can also be quiet, insidious and subtle. Tone, volume and facial expression all play a part.
It affects two in five children – that’s over 5 million children experiencing verbal abuse in the UK today, and the number is rising.
Words have power
Verbal abuse is a form of emotional or psychological abuse, commonly used to intimidate and undermine a child, and maintain a level of control and power.
While it can be unintentional and unthinking, and a result of stressful lives and situations, for a child it can result in low self-esteem, feelings of shame and guilt, intense humiliation, denigration and extreme fear.
Verbal abuse can lead to lasting emotional scarring, leaving an enduring impact on the brain and on the body. According to leading Harvard University psychiatrists, verbal abuse can be as harmful as physical abuse, sexual abuse, or being a witness to domestic violence.
Verbal abuse often co-exists with other forms of abuse, but it can also occur alone.
Impact underestimated
Words are powerful and the impact of harsh words is frequently underestimated. Childhood is a time when the brain and body are built. And early childhood and the teenage years are particularly sensitive times, when our relationships and experiences very actively shape the foundations of our brain and our body. Kind, calm and loving words, and secure, warm interactions build strong foundations and are crucial for a child’s progress. Without a strong foundation, children are more likely to experience difficulties later on.
Destructive language can make us feel worthless and hopeless. When a child hears words that can bruise their soul, it can have long-lasting consequences for their development and lead to mental and physical health problems in the future. Research shows that childhood verbal abuse can be as harmful as other forms of abuse. It can be constant, and without help the harm can lead to anxiety, depression, eating disorders, PTSD, substance abuse, self-harm and even suicidal behaviours. Over time, verbal abuse can act like a toxic stress on a child, derailing their physical and emotional development and inflicting trauma for a lifetime.
In addition, people who have been verbally abused may seek relationships where they are again abused. They can also become abusers themselves, as this is how they have learned to communicate.
Facts about verbal abuse
In the UK, rates of verbal abuse are not singled out, but are currently measured as part of emotional abuse, which covers a broader range of ways to control, manipulate or mistreat someone.
- Emotional abuse is the most common category of abuse for the Child Protection Register (CPR) and the second most common for Child Protection Plans (CPPs).
- The latest available statistics (2019) show that emotional abuse was the only type of abuse where there was an increase in Childline counselling, at a time when all other types of abuse were decreasing.
- Half of all mental ill health starts in childhood, by the age of 14 years.
