They warn harmful adult language is an ignored public health issue affecting millions
Young people are calling for urgent political and public health action to end childhood verbal abuse by adults. Published this week in The Lancet Child & Adolescent Health, a first-of-its-kind essay, written by young people on the “harm that leaves no bruises”, combines lived experience and scientific evidence to highlight an often-overlooked form of harm.
The essay describes how harsh language from adults – including blaming, shaming, humiliating, and criticising – can become “an inner voice that did not begin as our own”, shaping children’s sense of self, safety, and belonging. The authors argue that childhood verbal abuse mustbe recognised as a major public health and child rights concern affecting millions.
Two in five children in the UK experience verbal abuse from adults, with over half of these experiencing it weekly and one in ten daily1. The authors cite the growing evidence that childhood verbal abuse can have lifelong consequences, including depression, anxiety, eating disorders, substance misuse, self-harm and even suicide. Emerging research also shows that verbal abuse can have neurobiological effects, influencing aspects of brain development and systems involved in emotional regulation and language processing.
Yet, despite this, childhood verbal abuse continues to be dismissed as “just words” or framed as discipline and framed as discipline and justified as character-building – even though, as the essay argues, the harm is real and “socially easier to deny than to change”.
Rates of mental health problems among young people have risen sharply over the past decade, with one in five children in the UK now meeting criteria for a probable mental health condition2. The authors argue that preventable risk factors such as verbal abuse must be addressed urgently if we are to respond meaningfully to this crisis.
Lead author Livvy Smith, 23, said: “Words can stay with children long after they are spoken. They can undermine children’s sense of safety, belonging, and identity. If we want the next generation to thrive, we must start paying attention to the language surrounding them every day. Even small changes in how adults talk to children can transform lives.”
The essay calls on the UK government to formally recognise childhood verbal abuse within public health and safeguarding strategies, improve data collection, and invest in prevention programmes. Its recommendations include parenting support, training for teachers and coaches, and raising public awareness of how everyday language shapes children’s mental health.
Contributor Paddy Crump, 20, said: “Growing up, many of us were told that words shouldn’t hurt. But when those words come from trusted adults you depend on – parents, teachers, coaches – they shape how you see yourself and the world. Children are often shamed into staying silent, afraid of being called ‘too sensitive’ or told they ‘can’t take a joke’. Over time, these voices can become the way we speak to ourselves. Verbal abuse isn’t trivial – it’s time it was taken seriously.”
Contributor Poppy Bilderbeck, 26, said: “I was constantly put down, told I was ‘an embarrassment’, ‘ruining everything’, and ‘ungrateful’. Those abusive words by adults left me feeling depressed, anxious and, at times, suicidal. For most of my childhood I lacked confidence and that has continued into adulthood – something I still have to battle against today.”
Contributor Ethan Adonteng, 14, said: “The impact that this abuse can have on us children is long-lasting and can poison the way we think about ourselves. The words grow in us. We must act now to stop the cycle of children growing up in environments where verbal abuse is normal, passing it on to their children, and then to the next generation. Even if I can help just one child, it will all be worth it.”
Contributor Prathit Singh, 23, said: “Until verbal abuse is properly recognised, children’s experiences will keep being dismissed. We need to take it seriously and see policy action to prevent it, so every child grows up in an environment free of verbal abuse and gets the future they deserve.”
Professor Peter Fonagy, contributor and Head of the Division of Psychology & Language Sciences at UCL, said: “Verbal abuse of children by adults is among the most common forms of maltreatment, yet it is still too often minimised or dismissed as ordinary discipline. We now know that these experiences have profound and enduring effects on mental health, development and later functioning. If we are serious about prevention, this is not something we can overlook.”
The authors conclude with a clear rallying cry that childhood verbal abuse is not only a public health issue but a violation of children’s rights. “For this generation and those that follow, words should be tools for confidence, resilience, and belonging – not fear or shame – building children up rather than knocking them down.”
Jessica Bondy, Founder of Words Matter, said: “For too long, verbal abuse has gone under the radar, yet the harm is real and long-lasting—it affects developing brains, and shapes lives and futures. This essay shows the power of young people’s voices in making their experiences visible. We must listen to children and young people, acknowledge their experiences, and address this issue as the serious child rights concern it is. We must take action to prevent this harm.”
Notes to editors
About the essay
- The Lancet Child & Adolescent Health essay authors are: Livvy Smith, Prathit Singh, Paddy Crump, Poppy Bilderbeck, Ethan Adonteng and Professor Peter Fonagy.
- Lead author Livvy Smith, BSc is in Psychology from UCL, is currently undertaking an MSc in Developmental Psychology and Clinical Practice at UCL and Anna Freud
- Professor Peter Fonagy is Head of the Division of Psychology & Language Sciences, UCL, London
Footnotes
1Research among children was undertaken by Family, Kids & Youth (FK&Y), led by Dr Barbie Clarke between 1 June and 20 June 2023. 1,166 responses were received (children aged 11–17 years), with 53% (n=619) boys and 47% (n=543) girls, with good representation across all age groups and UK regions.