‘Words Matter’ Drop-in gives MPs and Peers the chance to hear directly from young people about the lifelong impact of harsh words – and the urgent need for prevention.
29 October 2025
“Words don’t just fade – they stay with you.” That was the message from young people who courageously shared their lived experiences of verbal abuse at a special ‘Words Matter’ drop-in for MPs and Peers at Portcullis House today.
Hosted by Sharon Hodgson MP and convened by Words Matter, the event gave parliamentarians a rare opportunity to hear first-hand from those who grew up being criticised, belittled, or threatened by adults – and to understand the lifelong scars that words can leave.
“When you’re told over and over that you’re useless or not good enough, you start to believe it,” said one young speaker. “Even years later, those words still echo in your mind.”
Their stories revealed the hidden reality behind a shocking statistic: 2 in 5 (41%) children in the UK experience verbal abuse by adults. Parents, carers, teachers, activity leaders/coaches are the primary sources – the very people meant to guide and support them.1
Verbal abuse – using words to blame, criticise, belittle, scold, or frighten a child – is now the most common form of child maltreatment. Research shows it can alter the developing brain and cause lasting damage to mental and physical health. It can lead to anxiety, depression, eating disorders, sleep issues, substance abuse, self-harm, and suicide. A recent landmark BMJ Open2 study of 20,000 adults found that childhood verbal abuse can be as damaging to long-term mental health as physical abuse.
At the event, Paddy Crump (20), Poppy Bilderbeck (25), and Ethan Adonteng (13) gave candid insights into their personal experiences – revealing the lasting effects on confidence and identity of harsh language and the transformative role of kindness and encouragement.
Paddy Crump, 20 said: “When you’re told over and over that you’re useless or not good enough, you start to believe it. Even years later, those words still echo in your mind. Teachers would tell me I was ‘too sensitive’ or say ‘they’d broken me’ in front of the whole class, and I felt humiliated. They’re meant to build you up, not crush you. It left me feeling like there was something wrong with me. I was fortunate that my parents were always encouraging. Please stand with Words Matter and make sure no young person has to experience this destructive language.”
Poppy Bilderbeck, 25 said: “I was repeatedly told I was ‘ruining everything,’ that I was an ‘embarrassment,’ and threatened with ‘you’re going to get a big telling off tomorrow’ – and that’s just a fraction of what I heard growing up. It left me feeling depressed, anxious and, at times, suicidal. I lost confidence in who I was, questioning what was real and what I believed about myself as a person – feelings I still battle with today. The Government needs to take verbal abuse seriously. I don’t want another child to go through what I did. We need to end childhood verbal abuse by adults.”
Ethan Adonteng, 13 said: “When you’re told by adults things like ‘you’re useless’ or ‘look at someone else doing better than you,’ it really sticks in your head. You think it must be true and start to feel hopeless and want to give up. But hearing positive words, like ‘you can do this or, I believe in you,’ changes everything. It helps you feel more confident and believe in yourself. My message to all adults is please think about what you say to children. Words matter.”
Sharon Hodgson MP, who sponsored the event, said: “Hearing directly from young people about how words from adults in their lives have shaped their confidence, their wellbeing, and their futures is deeply moving and heartbreaking.
Verbal abuse is a hidden epidemic affecting 2 in 5 children – yet it’s still not acknowledged with the same urgency as physical or sexual abuse. If we truly want to raise the healthiest generation, we must treat this issue with the seriousness it deserves. I’m proud to support Words Matter in bringing these vital voices to Parliament.”
Jessica Bondy, Founder of Words Matter, said: “Words said to children can lift them up or tear them down – and their impact lasts a lifetime.
For too long, verbal abuse has been minimised as ‘just words’ or seen as a normal part of growing up, but the stories we’ve heard today show the deep and lasting harm it can cause – and the difference kindness can make. Preventing verbal abuse must become a national priority, woven into the Government’s mental health and wellbeing strategy, with clear support and guidance for parents, carers, teachers, coaches, and all adults in children’s lives. Every adult around a child has the power to make a difference. Small shifts in language can build confidence, resilience, and hope. Let’s build children up, not knock them down, and help them flourish rather than live in fear.”
Footnotes
1. Research among children was undertaken by Family, Kids & Youth (FK&Y), led by Dr Barbie Clarke between 1 June and 20 June 2023. 1,166 responses were received (children aged 11–17 years), with 53% (n=619) boys and 47% (n=543) girls, with good representation across all age groups and UK regions.
2. Bellis MA, Hughes K, Ford K, et al. Comparative relationships between physical and verbal abuse of children, life course mental well-being and trends in exposure: a multi-study secondary analysis of cross-sectional surveys in England and Wales BMJ Open 2025;15: e098412. doi:10.1136/bmjopen-2024-098412